"Gentlemen, I like BL" - Fujoshi Declares War on Earth

In Genshiken, Kanako Ohno once declared that "Homo-hating girls don't exist!!" While the validity of the statement could be contested, yaoi-loving females, otherwise know as fujoshi, have since used it to defend their hobby.

Last December, the main store of Toranoana used Kanako Ohno's quote in its "Fujoshi Festival," where Toranoana's female staffs had to take an oath (the event was to promoted the manga Fujoshi Kanojo, Tonari no 801-chan, and Moso Shojo Otaku Kei).

Sticking to the saying "New year, new atmosphere," now the main store of Toranoana has posted a new promotional speech titled "Gentlemen, I like BL, gentlemen, I love BL" on its elevator.

The lyrics of Toranoana's fight song are modified from the "I Love War" speech made by Hellsing's Major Montana Max (made at the end of volume 4). However, rather than sounding like a normal promotional song, the speech sounded more like an address made by the fujoshi army before its invasion of the earth.

Japanese version of the original Hellsing speech can be found here. Below is a translation of the "fujoshi version" of the speech:

Gentlemen, I like BL
Gentlemen, I love BL

I like Kichiku Megane¹
I like underage assaults
I like naughty assaults
I like gakuen monogatari²
I like riiman³
I like parallels
I like gachi muchi⁴
I like female clothing

In parks, in schools
In companies, on streets
In harems, in deserts
In darkness, in daylight

I love every aspect of boy's love that takes place on this earth

I like quickly shooting the customer with the cash register while packing up the merchandise
When new publications on the stand decrease at amazing speed, my heart dances

I like operating the computer and responding to customer inquiry quickly
When new books arrived at the cash register, my heart leapt

Gentlemen, I desire BL, BL that is like hell
Gentlemen, my companions in the battalion, who follow me
Gentlemen, what do you desire?

Do you desire BL as well?
Do you desire PC games and commercial magazines that strike the wallet with no mercy?
Do you desire doujinshi that stretch the limits of iron, wind, lightning and fire to the limit, one that will kill all the delusions on this planet?

"BL! BL! BL!"
Very well, they are on the 3rd, 4th floor

1) Kichiku Megane is a BL game made by Spray/Visual Art.
2) "Gakuen monogatari" means school stories.
3) "Riiman" a.k.a. "salaryman" is a Japanese term for a white-collar worker.
4) Gachi Muchi means "He's so buff!" in Japanese.

The original Japanese version:

諸君　私はＢＬが好きだ
諸君　私はＢＬが大好きだ

鬼畜眼鏡が好きだ
年下攻めが好きだ
やんちゃ攻めが好きだ
学園ものが好きだ
リーマンが好きだ
パラレルが好きだ
ガチムチが好きだ
女装ネタが好きだ

公園で　学内で
社内で　街中で
後宮で　砂漠で
暗闇で　白昼で

この地上で行われるありとあらゆるボーイズラブが大好きだ

商品を抱えたお客様をレジで早撃ちし会計と同時に袋詰めするのが好きだ
平台に展開された新刊がみるみる減っていくとなど心がおどる

パソコンを操りお客様からの問い合わせ商材に素早く対応するのが好きだ
入荷したばかりの新刊のレジに持ってこられた時など胸がすくような気持ちだった

諸君　私はＢＬを地獄のようなＢＬを望んでいる
諸君　私に付き従う大隊戦友諸君
君達は一体何を望んでいる？

更なるＢＬを望むか？
情け容赦ない連続発売で財布に打撃を与えるＰＣゲームや商業誌を望むか？
鉄風雷火の限りを尽くし三千世界の妄想を詰め込む嵐のような同人誌を望むか？
『ＢＬ！ＢＬ！ＢＬ！』
よろしい　ならば３、４階だ

It is worth noting that the main shop of Toranoana is next door from the Animate shop, who also publishes BL products.

In Akihabara, Animate is the largest BL/fujoshi-moe store, while Gamers is the number one otaku-moe store. Toranoana created this battle song to drive sales.

All images taken from Akiba Blog
Special thanks to Ed from MangaCast on several cultural references
Source: Akiba Blog